My Before and After Story
This might not be what you were expecting from a before and after story.
Yes – I’ve lost 80+ pounds, more inches than I can count, and over 7 jean sizes – and don’t get me wrong – all of that has been GREAT. I physically feel better, my body moves better, I have significantly more energy and I look WAY different than my before picture. And let’s be real – those WERE the things I longed for when I started my weight loss journey over 8 years ago.
What I hadn’t considered though – was that losing the weight, changing my eating habits and starting to exercise did not address the underlying struggle that I had with food. I just assumed THAT little issue would go away with the weight. I was wrong – that battle continued.
I still emotionally used food – overate when I was happy, sad, anxious, etc – and then I beat myself up for being such a failure. Why couldn’t I get myself under control?? This cycle continued over and over again. At times I thought this was just my cross to bear – that I was destined to always be an emotional eater and have a horrible relationship with food.
That all changed when I realized my THOUGHTS about food were the real problem. I was choosing to think about my relationship with food in a way that kept me STUCK in the cycle – once I started doing the work around my mindset with food – not only did I see the light at the end of the tunnel – my emotional eating struggles were over.
And THIS is the AFTER story I wanted to share with you!
Before: Always thought I would struggle with my weight and/or be overweight.
After: Realized that by tuning into my body’s cues, I could maintain my natural weight in a way that was enjoyable to me.
Before: Didn’t trust my food decisions and would make rules around my food as a way to control my eating.
After: Now I see food as just that – FOOD. It’s not my enemy, a temptation, good or bad – it’s just food.
Before: Thought I would always struggle with emotional eating.
After: Realized that THINKING that was the real problem.
Before: Allowed food and losing weight to be what I thought about the majority of my day – what to eat and when, how many calories are in what, what exercise to do to burn the most calories, etc.
After: Now these thoughts are such a small part of my day – I sketch out a menu (with plenty of options) for the week, and a movement goal. Then I seriously go with the flow – if circumstances change, it’s not a big deal – I just make a decision and move on – no more fretting over the “BEST” decision and no more judging myself relentlessly afterwards. Eating well and movement are important to me and I make it work.
Before: Thought to lose weight and keep it off meant banning certain foods from my life, that I would never be able to enjoy my “trigger” foods without it opening Pandora’s Box, turning into another cycle of emotional eating and shaming myself for being out of control.
After: Realized that I could choose to eat whatever foods I want whenever I wanted them. The primary purpose of food in my life is energy and nourishment – but when I choose to eat a little more than my body needs (joy eats, celebrations, holidays) – I don’t dwell on it, look up a new diet plan or punish myself with “extra” exercise – I simply enjoy the food and move on.
Before: I use to either be “on plan” or “off plan”, on the wagon or face down in a muddy puddle.
After: Now I know there is no wagon and I haven’t fallen off of it! 😉 This is my life and I have a healthy relationship with food.
Before: Thought that my food struggles meant I was flawed, a failure.
After: Realized that I was given this journey to be able to help others along their way.
Have you thought about what you want your Before/After story to be? Besides losing weight, what do you want to be different about your relationship with food and yourself? Your answer to losing the weight once and for all – could be hidden in what you want your after story to be!
This has touched me more than you’ll ever know. Almost 3 years ago, I started an unexpected weight loss journey that left me 35 pounds lighter. I joined Weight Watchers with my mother to support her because I was already the thinnest, fittest, healthiest I’d been. Ever. But within 3 months. I lost 35 pounds and never felt better. Honestly it came off easily. Keeping it off is a daily struggle. Before I lost the weight, I would have considered my relationship with food “normal.” Yes, I didn’t always make the best choices and even when I made decent choices, I ate more than my body needed. But now I’m obsessed with what I eat versus what I burn. Mentally I battle with allowing myself to have a Reese’s cup, yet when I don’t eat what I want, I find myself in the kitchen with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon and no clue how much I’ve mindlessly consumed. I’ve never, ever been a binge eater bit lately I find if I’ve had a bad day with food choices, I give myself permission to binge. I’m so done feeling/living this way but honeatly I just don’t know how to fix this. I’m extremely dedicated to exercise…run in the morning, gym in the evening. I keep thinking I have the willpower to overcome the mentally sick relationship I have with food but over the last few months I’m realizing there’s more to it than willpower. I live in a small town so it’s not like there’s a therapist on every corner who can help me. Just know you’ve touched me, shown me there are others out there who have fought this battle and won, and given me so much inspiration!
Kristie – thank you for sharing. I’m grateful that this spoke to you and that you know you are not alone in this battle. The good news is – you CAN overcome this – and you will be able to have a normal/healthy relationship with food again!
I can so relate to this, as I believe many other can too. Food has always been my way or celebrating and punishing myself. I am well aware of my thoughts surrounding food and I too once believe that this was my “thorn” that I was destined to be in a fight with food for the rest of my life. But then I had an amazing experience at church one Sunday. Our heads were bowed and we were standing in agreement with our pastors prayer for freedom from chains. I felt an intense although not painful sensation in the palm of my right hand and felt God saying “I took the nails for you, so you could live in freedom from this. All you need to do is let go.” In that moment I realized that the only reason I was still battling with this was because I had chosen to. I gave all my thoughts over to it daily, I prayed for deliverance but didn’t know how to take the action that led to it. Food is no longer my enemy. The healthy foods taste better and my body craves them. The not so healthy foods still taste good but since I’ve broken or exposed my mindset, I no longer struggle with the choice of whether to eat them or not. Sometimes I choose to and others I don’t but my day, my week, and my life isn’t measure by the amount or type of food I consume.
What my comment is meant to say is…thank you for reminding me that I am free!!! On this Easter I remember that those nails that pierced our dear saviors hands were in fact taken for me, for you, for all of us! Happy Easter and thanks for this candid post that lets women like us know that we aren’t alone and we aren’t a slave to this disordered thinking.
Thank you SO much for sharing your story!! All of what you said resonates strongly with me too! I also came to the realization that the only reason the chains still weighed me down was because I chose to continue carrying them. God had forgiven me for all of it, all I had to do was let go. I pray we can help everyone else with our stories to see the truth – His truth!!! 🙂